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Love Addiction Love addiction is not really about love. Truth be told, what love addicts have is something closer to codependency and the result tends to be an unhealthy relationship.

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Old 07-01-2009, 03:54 AM
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Default Are You Aware Of Theses 7 Signs of An Addictive Relationship?

Are You Aware Of Theses 7 Signs of An Addictive Relationship?
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Old 07-01-2009, 03:55 AM
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Default Traits Of Addicts And Alcoholics

Traits Of Addicts And Alcoholics
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Old 07-01-2009, 04:17 AM
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According to Terence Gorski in Why Do I Keep Doing That? addictive relationships involve one person who is self-centered and extremely independent. This partner (let’s call him Selfish Sam - but it could just as easily be Selfish Sally) believes he’s entitled to whatever he wants whenever he wants it. He surrounds himself with people who support his opinions of himself.

Addictive relationships include the other partner (we’ll call her Dependant Debbie but it could be Dependent Darren) who is dependent and other-centered, and willing to mirror whatever the first partner wants. She’s simply a reflection of him.

Gorski says, “It works until the other-centered person runs out of steam one night and doesn’t have enough energy to mirror back what is needed. The relationship is going to blow up. Addictive relationships do not necessarily have to have self-centered and other-centered partners, but it’s the norm.”
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Old 07-26-2009, 02:00 AM
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Below article is very interesting - it really portrays the addictive relationships. I found it on Suite101.com.


7 Signs of Addictive Relationships

1. Dishonesty. Neither Sam nor Debbie talks about who they are or what's really bothering them. They lie about what they want. This turns communication into an addictive relationship.
2. Unrealistic expectations. Both Sam and Debbie think the other will solve their self-esteem, body image, family, and existential problems. They believe the "right relationship" will make everything better. Yet, they're in a disastrous addictive relationship.
3. Instant gratification. Sam expects Debbie to be there for him whenever he needs her; he needs her to make him happy immediately. He's using her to make him feel good, and isn't relating to her as a partner or even a human being. She's a like drug. An addictive relationship drug.
4. Compulsive control. Debbie has to act a certain way, or Sam will threaten to leave her. Both feel pressure to stay in this addictive relationship; neither feel like they're together voluntarily.
5. Lack of trust. Neither partner trusts the other to be there when the chips are down. They don't believe the other really loves them, and they don't believe genuine caring or liking exists. At some level they know they're not in a healthy but rather in an addictive relationship.
6. Social isolation. Nobody else is invited into their relationship – not friends, family, or work acquaintances. People in addictive relationships want to be left alone.
7. Cycle of pain. Sam and Debbie are trapped in a cycle of pleasure, pain, disillusionment, blaming, and reconnection. The cycle repeats itself until one partner breaks free of the addictive relationship.


Read more: 7 Signs of Addictive Relationships: How to Recognize an Unhealthy Marriage or Partnership | Suite101.com
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Old 08-12-2009, 09:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guna2009 View Post
Traits Of Addicts And Alcoholics
Hi gunna: Am very much interested in knowing. What are the traits?
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Old 08-12-2009, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen4life View Post
Below article is very interesting - it really portrays the addictive relationships. I found it on Suite101.com.


7 Signs of Addictive Relationships

1. Dishonesty. Neither Sam nor Debbie talks about who they are or what's really bothering them. They lie about what they want. This turns communication into an addictive relationship.
2. Unrealistic expectations. Both Sam and Debbie think the other will solve their self-esteem, body image, family, and existential problems. They believe the "right relationship" will make everything better. Yet, they're in a disastrous addictive relationship.
3. Instant gratification. Sam expects Debbie to be there for him whenever he needs her; he needs her to make him happy immediately. He's using her to make him feel good, and isn't relating to her as a partner or even a human being. She's a like drug. An addictive relationship drug.
4. Compulsive control. Debbie has to act a certain way, or Sam will threaten to leave her. Both feel pressure to stay in this addictive relationship; neither feel like they're together voluntarily.
5. Lack of trust. Neither partner trusts the other to be there when the chips are down. They don't believe the other really loves them, and they don't believe genuine caring or liking exists. At some level they know they're not in a healthy but rather in an addictive relationship.
6. Social isolation. Nobody else is invited into their relationship – not friends, family, or work acquaintances. People in addictive relationships want to be left alone.
7. Cycle of pain. Sam and Debbie are trapped in a cycle of pleasure, pain, disillusionment, blaming, and reconnection. The cycle repeats itself until one partner breaks free of the addictive relationship.


Read more: 7 Signs of Addictive Relationships: How to Recognize an Unhealthy Marriage or Partnership | Suite101.com

Thanks Zen4Life. Interesting name... how did you choose it?
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Old 08-14-2009, 06:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guna2009 View Post
Traits Of Addicts And Alcoholics
I am interested in these as well
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Old 08-14-2009, 07:24 AM
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MarissaS
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Originally Posted by Zen4life View Post
3. Instant gratification. Sam expects Debbie to be there for him whenever he needs her; he needs her to make him happy immediately. He's using her to make him feel good, and isn't relating to her as a partner or even a human being. She's a like drug. An addictive relationship drug.

Hmmmn... I don't understand this. Don't you expect your loved one to be there for you when you need them? How is that addictive?

If he's using you to feel good, then that is not love, isn't it?
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen4life View Post
1. Dishonesty. Neither Sam nor Debbie talks about who they are or what's really bothering them. They lie about what they want. This turns communication into an addictive relationship.

I certainly would not get into a relationship like this!
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Old 08-14-2009, 11:09 AM
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I certainly would not get into a relationship like this!
Me neither!
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