Dear Robin:

[lotus]

'Dear Drowningon't give up just yet. You are in good company and there is help out there for you. By admitting you have a problem and asking for help, you have taken the first step. Shopping can become an addiction like any other. It could be a replacement for something you are missing in your life or a therapeutic way to deal with emotions. No matter the reason, it is a problem. When it begins to take over your life and finances, it requires outside help.

Ask yourself what makes you want to shop. You first need to figure out what your trigger is, because nothing will change until you get to the root of the problem. Get involved with a good therapist who will enable you to deal with your triggers appropriately. Next, go through your finances and gather your financial statements. There are many programs online (or even in Microsoft Works) that can make up a monthly budget for you. Once you see on paper how much money is coming in and where it is going, you will have an idea of how much you are spending and see where your weak areas lie.

Set up an appointment with your bank or a financial planner. They will help you consolidate your loans and high interest credit, and possibly get you a lower interest rate and payment. Talk to your credit card companies and drop your limit to at least what you currently owe.

Now for the biggie. You need to learn to budget -with cash. The financial counselor can help you with this in terms of how much cash you need per week. Once you have a plan, stick to it. That means leaving your debit card at home, and either cutting up your credit cards or having a trusted family member hold on to them for you.

In order to make money to help pay off the bulging bills, sort through your closet and pull out anything you haven't worn for one season, including shoes and outerwear. Next, take anything you've had for longer than three months that still has a tag. Call your local consignment stores and set up an appointment to bring in your things. Anything that is rejected or doesn't sell should be given to charity.

I'm not saying you can never buy clothes again, as you need to have some money in your budget for shopping, but it will be a set amount each month. I have a rule of thumb I try to follow that for every new item of clothing I bring home, I consign, give away or donate two items. My closet is still overflowing, but at least it no longer overtakes the house!

Good advice from Robin. All the shopaholic and impulsive shoppers out there should benefit from this advice.